Are we shallow? | Beauty ideals and our types

Whenever someone around me said someone is not good looking, I was always quick to comment that they are beautiful in their own way even if we don’t think they are, someone will find them very attractive. As long as someone takes care of themselves, they are beautiful. When we look at someone and say they are beautiful and that I would love to be with them, does that mean we are shallow? Are we shallow for being with someone because we find them attractive?


Red is the colour of love (apparently)

Well, yes and no.

I have friends, who are different to me and when the conversation turns to our object of affection we all have different ideals. My friends and I, rarely find the same people attractive – whether men or women. When we watched this video clip, I commented how the girl was beautiful, whereas both my friends said no.

I was having a conversation with a guy friend, where he said I would be what society would deem as attractive because he said that “I am slim, tall(ish), have long hair and coloured eyes” yet there are many people out there who would not find me attractive. We see, on the media about beautiful celebs and everyone thinking they are beautiful, but if we go do a survey, I’m sure everyone would have different answers.


“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches”


My friends rarely thought the guys I have dated have been attractive, yet for me, I thought they were great, I was attracted to something about them, always.

I used to say I want to be with someone very beautiful so when other’s see us together, they would wonder why they are with me. I was young admittedly but now I realise just because I find him/her beautiful does NOT mean everyone else will. That was wrong and I admit that. If you seek the ‘most beautiful’ or go around saying that “I had the most beautiful girlfriends/boyfriends” then turn that ego down a notch or two, please. No such thing. There are people who refuse to go our with someone because they are underweight, overweight, brunette, blonde, too nice, different race, same race, etc then that raises another question. Yes, it is shallow even if they don’t admit so. But that is where the attractions comes in, sometimes we are just attracted to a person and we can’t help who.

I find Michael Fassbender (and his wife) beautiful but my friend, does not. She thinks Enrique Iglesias is.

If i went to a party, there were two guys. One the centre of attention – making everyone laugh, socialising with everyone etc and the other more on the sidelines, introspective, smiling etc. I would probably choose the latter but I know, many won’t. My friend will certainly go for the centre of attention guy.

we are all different. 

What we find attractive/beautiful is also different


Now, the types. Whether we admit or not – we all have a some sort of a type. My usual physical type would be slim, coloured eyes, lighter hair, etc yet I went and ended up really liking someone who had very dark eyes and hair. – In him, I found something attractive – maybe it was the way he carried himself that made him attractive to me, as something in my brain clicked. We also have a personality type – we could be into someone funny, intelligent, caring, kind, affectionate, supportive etc. 

Guess the beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder.

The thing is we are all shallow in a way. Just because someone is not beautiful in terms of society’s definition of beautiful and we find them beautiful still – what does that make us? Slightly shallow, so are we shallow? Or is that not being shallow?

When we are with a person and other people wonder why we are with them, doesn’t mean they are not beautiful in our own eyes. To us, they are the most beautiful! Then again, I believe in falling in love at first sight introduction, (or like a dislike at first sight) so what do I know. But really, I have to be into someone when I initially am introduced to them and something in my mind clicks even if I don’t realise it then otherwise it’s flat, nada – seriously if that doesn’t happen then I can never force myself to be into them regardless of how amazing they are…in other’s eyes. 😉 Also, Prince Harry did say somewhere that he knew Meghan was the one, the first time he met her. (p.s I’m one of the rare ones that don’t personally find her attractive)

In the olden times, they saw each other and got married within a month (most times based on first attraction, right?) and lasted many many years. Now, thats shallow too but people tend to thing people nowadays are more shallow. But now, some people believe in getting to know them, growing in like and then it usually doesn’t even last.

 “As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on.” Steve Jobs

“Whoever loves, loves at first sight.” William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night

Yes, William!

Life is short, go be with who you are very into. Whatever, we are all shallow in some way.

Sight, smell, touch etc are all contributing factors in attraction. They have to make us feel something. That is important but it has to be mutual.

I have very rarely seen this topic discussed before in the blogging world so I thought I’d share my views and opinions on it. Note: this goes for majority of people because there are few that are actually shallow.


Do you think we are shallow or not?



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  • Nadia

    Such a wonderfully written and edited post, girly. Beauty is such a debatable topic. That peach quote you included sums it up perfectly 🙂 Everyone is beautiful in a very unique way. We just have to open up our hearts and look pas “the shell” <3
    xox Nadia

    • Thank you Nadia. It is indeed, everyone is both perfect and imperfect and thats the beauty of it xx

  • Nováková Irína

    Beautiful words and post!
    Love the reds combo;)

    Irena Nováková, Shop It With Me