Not everyone likes being alone, some are afraid to be alone or of being lonely, but there are those who needs to be alone sometimes. Most times. I am one of those who love spending time alone. I seriously didn’t know how to really start this post but I knew I wanted to write about it. It is kind of a personal post.
I like being alone.
I like spending time alone.
I am more creative when alone and I end up doing a lot of things.
I like being around other people, but eventually I would go back into my own shell for some alone time to recharge. I dislike loud and crowded places. The other day I was in the tube and in one stop, a lot of people came on – one after the other, and that made me feel dizzy and drained. Today, I spent most of my time alone and it made me feel better.
Whilst writing this post in my room – my bother came in and said “I just clocked that you’re in this house” and thats been the story of my life, since I was small.
I will ignore being/talking with people, without really realising until I am comfortable to comeback to socialise again. I am not anti social. Even if I am in a relationship, I would disappear for few days and then comeback and resume from where it was paused, being all happy and energetic – Its just how I am. I need to do that.
I am one of those people who look for the good in people. I love the people I have in my life, I love spending time with them and going out, but then I will go quiet and become a hermit with a need to escape things (world?). This really depends on my mood. My mood; that I can’t control much. One minute, I can be in the mood for a party, a while later I’ll be in the mood to be in my room, alone. Then there is the mood where things annoys me and I want to do my own thing! Spending too much time with the same person will eventually lead me to escape too, regardless of how much I love them or if they do understand me. Regardless of how happy I am, I still love solitude.
My mood changes depends on music too, I have to do almost everything with music.
I chose to study Accounting because I felt like I could sit at my desk and work away in solitude, then came my passion for writing, another perfect opportunity for me to be alone and write away.
Yes, I did think at some point that maybe something was wrong with me but then I saw that, I am not alone. There are other people too.
I have a on/off relationship with solitude. I am in love with it though. I romanticise it, I see it as an art.
Its ok to want to be alone. To spend some time with yourself. For your soul to calm down. Its ok if others don’t understand this, they’ll eventually do. If not, don’t bother.
I am sensitive, so things can easily affect me hence wanting to be alone. When around other people, I am always aware of their feelings as I could feel it. I can feel someones intentions. Things can get overwhelming. I actually did this test that I came across randomly and I scored pretty high – its a high sensitivity test. Maybe I should blame for having many astrological placements in Pisces.
What does it mean to be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)?
The term Highly Sensitive Person was popularised by the author Elaine Aron in her book: The Highly Sensitive Person where she found that 15-20% of the population can be HSPs. Traits of HSP are these:
- Being easily overwhelmed by environmental factors such as strong smells, harsh/artificial lighting, loud noise eg. sirens.
- Getting rattled by having too much to do in too short a time.
- Being upset by violence in the media and animal cruelty.
- Needing to withdraw into peace and quiet when overwhelmed.
- Have a rich and complex inner life.
- Enjoy delicate or fine scents, taste, sounds or works of art.
- Often seen by parents or teachers as shy or sensitive.
Cheers to solitude. To being free.